Overcoming closet eating

LovemyCards

Hi! I’m Susan. I’m looking for a few friends I can be totally transparent with with regards to closet eating.

My first memories of closet eating go hand in hand with the first time I had the need to lose weight. This was after the birth of my second child. After his birth I weighed 139 pounds and thought I was a cow! I had never weighed more than 120 pounds with the exception of pregnancy.
I joined a local weight loss center that was very similar to WW. Within weeks I began working there and was manager soon thereafter (I had reached my goal at that point).

Every time my coworkers and I would go out to eat, we would see at least one of our members. Inevitably they would make a comment about one of our food choices. That’s when it began and I’ve never been able to reign it back in for longer than 6 months or so at a time.

I get the WHY behind it. I’ve even gone to Overeaters Anonymous. As a size 4, I was terrified I wouldn’t be taken seriously. But I was. Unfortunately the town where I lived only had one meeting and it was on a night i had prior commitments.

If you’re in this same boat, I’d love to chat with you.

Idontcareyoupick

I'm not in the same boat but I feel for you. I tend to eat a lot of my junk away from home so hubby doesn't see it. One thing I've always done is log it. No one has to see your food log if you don't want. Once you deal with and hopefully overcome the guilt, you can decide what you want to share. I got these huge brookies yesterday and gave myself a bit of a tummy ache and when I got home from the gym, hubby asked how class was and I said it was good and I pushed myself hard because of eating too many brookies. I just slipped it in normal conversation to share and not feel like a confession. Hope you can do the same. Feel free to add me if you'd like

Diatonic12

Not sure what a Brookie is there but this is what it looks like here. Brookie Trout

Idontcareyoupick

Mari22na wrote: »

Not sure what a Brookie is there but this is what it looks like here. Brookie Trout

A brookie is a combined brownie and cookie lol. At least the trout would have protein lol

CarvedTones

Discipline to log it and stop for the day when you hit goal. I did a lot of close eating when I was overweight, mostly late at night when everyone else was asleep.

FL_Hiker

Mari22na wrote: »

Not sure what a Brookie is there but this is what it looks like here. Brookie Trout

That is the most beautiful fish I've ever seen...

rosebarnalice

I've struggled with emotional eating for as long as I can remember. I like a couple of things that Brooke Castillo (author of "If I'm So SmartWhy I Can't I Lose Weight) says about emotional eating:
1) food can only solve one problem, namely hunger.
2) actions are generated by feelings, which are generated by thoughts. When you feel like overeating or closet eating, stop and ask "what am I thinking about that is making me feel this way?"
3) don't use your food log to beat yourself up and tell yourself what a bad person you are. Instead, approach it with 'curiosity and compassion" to help you understand the thoughts that are leading to the feelings that result in the action of overeating.

fitoverfortymom

Have you tried seeking individual therapy with someone who has experience working with disordered eating?

If that's not up your alley, I've had some friends recommend this book as well: https://www.amazon.com/Food-Feelings-Workbook-Course-Emotional/dp/0936077204.

Go_Deskercise

So a little bit about myself.....

When I use to get fast food for myself and husband, I would order two meals for myself and 1 for him. I would eat my first meal in the car on the way home and then dispose of the evidence so no one would ever know. I would then eat the other meal when I got home...

I also live within a mile of my work, so I go home for lunch. Alone and unsupervised, I would eat and eat while watching some TV or something on my DVR. It was nothing to eat around 1500 or more calories and then head back to my desk job...

I don't believe this ever truly goes away as the temptation comes back every now and then, but here's how I have tried to keep it managed:

First change I made is something not everyone has the luxury of doing: I walk/run on my lunch break. Because I am so close to my home, I am able to go home and give myself a short period of time to eat. Usually I plan what I'm going to eat the night before and put it in a special container so I'm not tempted to eat more than I should. Then I change and get the dogs leashed up and go for a walk/run, come home and change back into my work clothes and head back.

Second was purely restraint and pre-logging: I still eat all the foods I want to eat and that includes pizza, fast food, etc. but I pre-log my food so I know how many calories I am going to be eating so I know how many calories I am going to have for the rest of the day if I eat what I'm about to eat. When I go to get fast food, I do not order 2 meals anymore. I literally just stopped ordering it because I know if I order it and it's in front of me that I will eat it.

For me, mindset is everything. Some days I give in and I binge eat, but most days I am able to control it now.

I know it's not truly gone because I chose not to walk/run one day on my lunch break and sure enough I reverted back to old habits and I wound up eating around 1500 calories... oops! The most important thing to remember is not to beat yourself up about it. Log your bad days and your good days and learn from those bad days and try to think of what caused your binge eat.

Hope this helps a bit.

cmriverside

Every time my coworkers and I would go out to eat, we would see at least one of our members. Inevitably they would make a comment about one of our food choices. That’s when it began and I’ve never been able to reign it back in for longer than 6 months or so at a time.

This really stood out in the original post.

I think we all are a bit codependent. By that I mean we put way too much stock in what other people say and it's really easy to project that out into thinking I know what they're thinking about me even if they don't say it.

Shame and guilt are behind a lot of this kind of thinking.

Something I heard in a 12 Step meeting that really resonates with me is, "What people think about me is none of my business."

Boy.

Even if it were my business, I have no control over it.

Think about that.

Why punish myself over other peoples' words - worse, over what they *may* be thinking?

Guilt is overrated.